8 Ways to Be a Leader That Doesn’t Yell, Scream, or Reprimand

Want to be a leader who doesn’t need to:

• yell
• scream &
• reprimand

…to bring out the best in your players?

Many don’t think it’s possible.

It is.

Here’s 8 things you can do as a coach so you avoid frustration and actually enjoy showing up to practice each day.

1. Put Culture First

Leaders create positive team cultures & ensure every action is in alignment with their core values.

Southwest Air decided not to charge baggage fees because it wouldn’t align with their culture of providing friendly, reliable, and low-cost air travel.

Don’t talk about it, be about it.

If you’re going to show them the way and talk about the way…

…then you must live the way.

2. Find Your NORTH STAR

The leader’s vision for where the group is going is the North Star.

The entire group must understand & buy into this vision. Continue to point to the North Star & remind everyone which direction to go daily.

Bring your telescope & your microscope. The telescope ensures the group is moving toward the North Star.

The microscope helps the leader zoom in and focus on what small tasks must be accomplished daily in order to stay on that course.

3. Create Commitments 1st

Have your players write commitment statements that say who they will show up as daily.

Once you figure this out, you no longer need to yell or scream. You can simply hold them accountable to who they are committed to being.

4. Change Your Focus

Most coaches spend a majority of practice finding mistakes & yelling about them.

You only have a certain amount of time in practice & the words you choose to say matter.

Instead of constantly scolding the negative action, try this…

Praise the positive.

Praise activates the striatum, one of the reward areas in the brain. Use your words to reinforce & praise positive behavior. Science has proven humans are more likely to repeat a praised behavior than avoid a punished one.

5. Don’t Use The Word “Don’t”

By using don’t, we create an extra step in processing that makes learning harder.

Tell them what to do, not what not to do. So with that in mind, let’s rewrite the title of this to…

“Avoid using the word don’t.”

6. Care More!

Great leaders put more care, attention, and time into:

• giving extra help
• saying thank you
• building relationships
• celebrating accomplishments

…and truly being there for their players.

“Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.” – Colin Powell

Optimism & enthusiasm must be ingrained in the fabric of your being.

When these are a part of who you are, they create ripple effects that deeply impact the way your players think and respond to you.

7. Be Gritty

The #1 trait of a positive leader is GRIT! When we see successful teams, companies, and people — we see the current outcomes.

What we don’t see are the many failures & frustrations on the way to that success. Don’t let roadblocks stop you.

Solve the roadblock. When you hit a roadblock, step one is get back up. Now, find a way to move the roadblock out of your way or run it over.

Which one you choose depends on the situation.

8. Stop Yelling & Tell Them Why

“Why” not only drives our actions, but also our emotional reactions to everything that happens to us.

If players know why they’re doing what they’re doing, you can expect them to give more effort.

Start with why and you’ll avoid the inevitable frustration of having to explain it later.

In closing, this isn’t easy, I get it. But it’s worth considering, no matter your coaching style.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Director of Uncommon Schools and author Doug Lemov;

“Deliver feedback with emotional constancy and composed neutrality. Coaches often think that giving highly emotional feedback makes them a better coach. We believe it shows high expectations, but it diverts players attention from feedback. Intensity works best as a variation of the norm.”
– Adam Turner

Everyone you look up to is still figuring it out. So let’s keep learning together and growing as coaches!